SOS SAVE OUR SANITY!
by s n u c k
Summary: Yuki is a gangster. Uo is a rabbit. Kyou has a pink diary. Shigure... well he has a fish. What happens when you trap people on a boat for too long? This. Naraku from InuYasha makes a cameo here.


This is a really really bad parody of nothing. But it's stupid. So yeah. I've managed to dart in some of the InuYasha characters, including the UBER SEXY Naraku. So, this is bad. Real bad. Hahaha.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own shit.

**Warnings:** Language, Violence, Yaoi, Stupidity, Nudity and Yuki pretending to be a gangster.

* * *

**DAY ONE**

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm afraid my worst nightmare has come true! I'm trapped on a boat with Yuki, Yuki's Fanclub, Shigure, Tohru, Uo and Hana. Shit. I am so going to go insane. Oh, there's some guy in a monkey suit here too, but we don't have to worry about him going insane. He's all 'Got to get the jewel. Molest the priestess and kill her little dog too.' Um. Yeah-_

"Kyou, did you steal Miss Honda's diary?" said Yuki. Kyou snapped his head up, nearly dropping the pink book and his pencil.

"No," said Kyou, blushing and holding the book to his chest, "I got it before the world flooded. About two minutes ago."

"Where."

"The store, where the fuck else?"

"You were crying at home before the flood started. You didn't go to the store."

"Did so!"

"Did not."

"Did so."

"Molest the priestess and kill her little dog too!"

"Did not."

"Did so!"

"Fine!" said Yuki, nearly jumping out of his chair. "You bought it! There, you happy?"

"Yes," said Kyou. Tohru sighed.

"How long are we going to be trapped in this boat for?" said Tohru, peering out the cabin window. There was no sign of land at all. There was a mysterious flash flood just minutes before, and the whole world got flooded. The Fruit's Basket gang came across a man who was drowning in a monkey suit, so they picked him up to save him. (Well, not really. Tohru wanted to save him, Kyou wanted to watch him drown and Shigure suggested to eat him.)

"Who knows," said Shigure, crossing his ankles. "We could be in here for up to a year!"

"It's a good thing I brought my secret base with me," said Yuki, quietly. He nodded over to where his garden sat under a few heat lamps.

"Yes," agreed Tohru, "That way we have something to eat!"

"Tohru, how'd we get stuck here anyway? I was on a boat with my own family and so was Hana," said Uo. Everyone just shrugged.

"I'm sensing strange electric signals from that man," said Hana, pointing to the baboon man.

"Hey, what's your name anyway," said Kyou, crossing his legs in his chair.

"Huh? Naraku," said baboon boy. He pushed down the hood of his baboon cloak, revealing malevolent, red eyes and silk-like black hair. Yuki fell over and Kyou just stared. Tohru looked at the two boys confused.

"What's wrong you guys?" said Tohru, putting her finger to her chin.

"Nothing," the two answered in unison. Tohru sighed. Kyou turned back to his diary.

_Well, that guy just revealed he's sexy beyond all belief. I gotta get to him before Yuki does (DAMN RAT!!). Anyway, we're trapped on this ship. I'll draw a diagram below:_

_Lalalala. Lalalala._

_I love YUUUUUKIIII_

_Shigure makes me horny._

_Mmm... Naraku._

_Reminder: Kill Kagura_

_But since I can't draw, I'll just leave a big stupid message for good measure. I wonder how long everyone is going to last on this ship before we go insane!_

* * *

**DAY FIVE **

Shigure held tightly onto the fish he had found. He growled to the Fanclub girls, who were trying to snatch it from him. That was the only meat they had. Kyou tried to snatch it once. It didn't work.

-FLASHBACK-

Kyou sneaked beside Shigure's chair, where he held the fish so tightly. His hands snaked around Shigure's chest, aiming for the fish. Suddenly Shigure flew right out of his chair, wailing on Kyou's head with the fish. "FISH SLAP! BITCH SLAP!"

Kyou smelled like fish for a couple days

-END FLASHBACK-

"L-O-V-E WE LOVE YUKI! YUKI! YUKI! LALALALALALALAL--"

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" shrieked Kyou. He was holding his hands to his head. Kyou looked up to find such a weird sight. Kagura was naked. "HOLY FUCKIN SHIT!"

"Hi, my darling Kyou!" cooed Kagura, "I was hiding in your bag in my animal form for five days. Funny how I stayed a boar so long, huh?" She punched him hard in the groin, and he fell right off his chair.

"I've missed you!" said Kagura happily, while Kyou moaned in pain over his groin.

"Who is she?" said Naraku. All eyes flashed to him.

"Oh, Naraku, this is... um... Kagura!" said Shigure, still hugging his fish.

"Where did she come from?" said the man in the baboon pelt.

"Uhm, the moon!" said Yuki, happily. Everyone stared at Yuki, with their mouths wide open. "Yes. The moon! Eheh... oh god."

_Dear Diary,_

_Kagura arrived today. My balls still hurt from her arrival. Ouch. I can't sit cross-legged anymore. Yep. I think she might be the first to be sacrificed and eaten. Our boat is going to sink if we gain anymore weight. Oh god. That Naraku man is sexy. I want to do naughty things to him, yes I do. Mmm--_

"Guys! We're down to our last three carrots!" said Tohru. Kyou looked up from his diary.

"Already?" said Yuki, standing up and walking over to his garden. Uo jumped right out of her seat and darted over to the garden. She snatched all of the carrots and hid in a conveniently placed box.

"MINE FUCKERS!" she yelled, out of her cardboard hiding place.

"DAMN YANKEE!" yelled Kyou, running over to try to pry it open. "LET ME IN, BITCH!"

"Calm down," said Tohru. Hana stood up.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!" Hana yelled, depleting her sanity. She ran out the door and the next sounds were of sharks eating flesh.

"Oh, shit," said Shigure, "I wanted her for dinner."

* * *

Sister: MUAHAH! The fish slap stuff is mine! ALL MINE!

Snuck: BS. I made it myself.

Sister: DREAM FREAKING ON!

Snuck: Yeah, well you get to be called sister so BLAH!

Sister: STFU

Snuck: Biznatch


End file.
